Sometimes God challenges you with the little things in life... as well as with big things of course. But there is this one little thing he's challenging me about... it part of a bigger picture so I guess I have to start from the beginning.
Well, I shared before that I'm totally out of my own routines and disciplines. I AM slowly getting back on track, slowly but surely. I was challenged by
Liezel's Blog. She's reading this book "Made to crave" by Lisa Terkeurst and was challenged herself about her eating habits. And I guess her blog was a bit of a wake up call for myself. So good girl that I am, I went straight to our one and only friendly Christian bookstore in town and got a copy. I felt a bit embarrassed as the lady at the counter was this gorgeous looking skinny girl and you don't really wanna buy a book about weight problems from a skinny girl, but ou well, Bob's your uncle.
And it really is a challenging book. It helps me to get back on track with a healthy lifestyle, not only physically but spiritually. I hadn't read my bible in over half a year or even longer. Stubborn pighead that I can be at times I didn't want to read it until God gave me a passion and love for it. I still struggle with the bible, but I am drawn to the book of Ephesians, always have been. I read it I don't know how many times, but it never got stuck up there or in my heart. You know... you read but after you read it you still don't have a clue what you just read. Rather frustrating. So when I finally opened my bible again last Friday for the first time in half a year to really read it, I opened Ephesians. And I started to memorize it. I'm sick of reading it and not knowing what I just read and if I'm a bit dumb that way I guess I have to read it the only way I can truly remember: veeeeeerrry slowly, verse by verse and memorize, memorize and memorize. I'm up to verse 12 I think. I want to engrave it into my heart and brain so that I will be able to understand God's word (Ned noticed that at times I'm staring blankly into the far distance and mutter to myself. He keeps telling me to stop talking:o))).
So that was a rather bigger challenge which was a result of reading this book.
The author points out that God designed us the way that we do crave... everyone craves something. And God wants to be the one to fill this craving but unfortunately us humans try to stuff the hole with many other things instead: love, friendship, career, marriage, kids, food, alcohol, drugs... you name it. And satisfying the craving with anything besides God is sin. She's got a point.
The last week I adjusted, thought, planned, read, prayed, memorized and got challenged again. I stopped eating chocolate. I cut down on my sweets or sugar intake. I started to drink at least 2l of plain water (which makes me feel like a camel as I really do NOT enjoy drinking water very much), but you know, when I wanted a little "kick" I'd turn to my dearly beloved diet coke. I LOVE that stuff!! I crave that stuff... I'm addicted to that stuff. And here we go... I got challenged by God to quit drinking it. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I certainly do NOT want to, because, hey, where's the fun in life without it, and without chocolate, gummibears and other lovelies it was a good a faithful friend... but still, here I go and tell all the word I quit drinking my addiction, my bubbly joy and refresher. I want God to be my addiction, my bubbly joy and the refresher of my heart, not a soft drink. You might think me VERY stupid or silly but it might be coffee for you or black tea or cigarettes. It almost makes me cry if I think about not having this little treat to look forward to every day, but it's the right thing to do. Unfortunately the right things often don't feel so good and rewarding in the short term, but in the long run it's quite a different story.
I don't say that I will never EVER again drink a coke, but only once it doesn't hold a power over me anymore. Just like with chocolate. Eating chocolate is just not safe for me. I hadn't eaten any chocolate in over 4 months but once I started again it wielded it's power over me and sooner than you can think I went down the slippery chocolate slope.
So this was my laaaast diet coke for now.... sigh
It's decisions I make but only the strength of God can actually achieve anything. If I do anything out of my own strength I'll end up sooner or later back at exactly the same spot I used to be before or even further down. It sounds a bit silly to think that not eating chocolate or not drinking diet coke will bring me closer to God... but I think it's a step in the right direction. I guess going to bed at a decent time would also be a good step... hmmm... but one can't get everything perfect in one go, right???
Ou well, I started drinking tea again, not back tea, bless me, but my old friend, the peppermint tea, not as thrilling and exciting as coke, but it gives plain water a better flavour, not that I like tea much... sigh... ou well, I'm off to bed, way too late yet once again.