Many firsts!!

This week has been a week of many firsts.

Ced smiled for the first time and want a BIG grin that was!




I went roller blading with Ced in his pram for the first time, it is a bit more work out than without the pram.

I had a hair cut for the first time after Ced was born (it feels great)

We went for a bike ride as a family for the first time (Ced in his car seat in a little bike trailer and my first time on the bike after giving birth)

Ced slept through the night for the first time, fully on, 7 hours straight, PRAISE THE LORD!!!! (Son, now our expectations are up, you have to keep on doing it!!)

And today I also felt like a real photographer for the first time. After I'd finished feeding Ced at around 6am I actually -for the first time- grabbed my camera and tripod, got in the car and drove to the river to do an early morning shoot (if you don't know, everyone who knows me also knows that I am NOT a morning person, so to go out at that time of the day is something like a little miracle) unfortunately it was almost too foggy to be able to make nice photos but that's not the point, I DID go out with the purpose to take photographs at SIX O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!!!!





As well, for the first time, we got a nice computer software to play around with photos, ahm, I mean work on them, not play of course. So thanks to Photoshop and Lightroom I might be able to get some nice results of my morning shooting expedition :o)))



(But I did not use the Photoshop or Lightroom magic on this spider picture, the camera did that all by itself, no idea how, but it looks great doesn't it??? Although I do not like spiders, I must admit that God did an awesome job in creating them, wouldn't you agree??? Just look at the beautiful cross on its back, wow!!)

And last but not least, for the first time I tried a different way of transportation for my boys. It is a MUST for every German boy to own his very own bright red "BOBBY CAR", and so does Ned of course. So I sat him on his little speed machine, connected a rope to it, tucked Cedric in his carrying cloth and off we went to town. It was GREAT!!! Ned did such a good job and when he didn't want to scoot himself along I would pull him with the rope. At one point he actually got off the bobby car and faster than you can say "We're goin' to Bonnydoon" another little boy sat on it. Graciously Ned let him sit on it for a little while before we had to go on again. It must have looked funny, but we had lots of fun :o)))

YAY

In the last week there were quite some moments when I wondered: "Is this really my child??" And I was wondering over Ned, not Cedric. He seemed to have matured sooooOOOOOooo much in just the last one or two weeks, amazing.

For example a couple of days ago at Mc Donald's (not that we would EVER eat at Mc D's... hem, hem). This particular Mc D's has a kids play area outside and you have to go past it to go inside to get food, and in the past this proved already quite a challenge with Ned and we also had to make sure, once inside, to sit in a way that he couldn't see this playground through the window. This time I told him in the car: "Ned, first we eat and afterwards you can go and play". And without a problem he walked inside with us and ate without a fuss, although looking longingly to the playground outside. I was baffled but REALLY pleased with the change. He waited patiently for quite a long time and my heart swell up with pride, our little tyke is getting a big boy, wow. Then we went outside and he ran around the play things, which is basically some stuff to climb up and then you can slide down again. And my little big boy was so happy, especially because there were two other children, a boy and a girl two or three years older then him. My pleasure soon turned into "wrath". Those two monsters ganged up on my little boy and almost mobbed him, pulled his leg, blocked his way and stuff like that and he just wanted to be friends with them and ran towards them with this gorgeous smile on his face not noticing how awful they were to him. We told those bossing tykes off and they let him be reluctantly, just to boss him around again a couple of minutes later. The parents sat lazily at a table nearby, smoking I believe, and not caring whatsoever. I made a mental note NEVER EVER EVER EVER to be such a parent. Yes, I do agree that some things kids have to sort out by themselves but to gang up on a two year old is not one of those moments. If we had been in an English speaking environment Ben would have gone to them and let them have a piece of his mind, but in German it was too big a challenge for him (maybe it was a good thing!) and I was too mad to be able to be polite or objective to do it without crying or shouting. So we decided to leave, and Ned came with us without screaming or kicking but happily walking all by himself. Okay I admit I gave Ned a little lolly (no, we really do not believe in bribing our kids :o) ), but still, I was almost on the point of crying because I was SO proud of him and his behaviour (silly me, I know, but I am rather leaky lately, much more leaky then when being pregnant).

My parents had Ned for the weekend again and they also said that he had matured and didn't throw as many fusses and tantrums by far..... I am SOOO grateful to our heavenly father that he gave us the strength to work through this challenging time, and I know it isn't over and that there are still soooo many challenging times ahead of us, but I also know that God will give us the strength and wisdom if we ask him.

Time really flies, doesn't it?? Cedric is officially 4 weeks today. It starts to get confusing to tell his age correctly, do you know what I mean?? I mean, when he was just a couple of days you could easily say: "He is five days old." or even with a couple of weeks, then you can say: "He is 2 weeks" or "He is 3 1/2 weeks" but now he is 4 weeks which is not one month although you tend to think that 4 weeks is 1 month but it isn't, so he is 4 weeks today, on a Sunday, and he will be 5 weeks next Sunday but he will be one month next Wednesday, which is the 11th... do you know what I mean???? It always confused me with Ned already and people would ask me: "So, how old is he??" And I'd go blank... they must have thought I'm a complete weirdo, not knowing my child's age, ou well!!

P.S. Yesterday our visitor from the UK left to go back home and we got an email from her today saying that Ned had surprised her with his generosity and sweetness: upon opening her suit case after arriving at home, she discovered that he had put two of his toy cars inside...

P.P.S. Yesterday I also went roller blading for the first time in about a year, yay!!!! I missed it SOOOO much!!!! Baby fat, I declare war on you!!!!

Scatter brain

I love criminal novels, especially by Agatha Christy, but I discovered I would be such an aweful witness. I can't even recollect all my doings of today, no chance of remembering what I did a couple of days/weeks/months/years ago. I think part of it I can blame on the fact that I am such a scatter brain, or to phrase it in positive terms, that I am so multi tasking. To give you a bit of an idea of how much of a scatter brain ( Or multi task-er) I am, I try to retrace my doings as far as I CAN recollect them for today...

Well, I did get out of bed (I clearly remember that), I fed Cedric while watching Ned play, I had breakfast, then Cedric wanted a bit more milk and after that he went to bed.I started to do the dishes, then I remembered that I planned to make bread so I started to make the pre-dough for the bread and let it rise.The friend staying with us offered to take Ned for a walk, so I left the bread dough and went on to get Ned ready and dressed, packed a bag to take along and saw them off. Then I wanted to get dressed, got halfway through that and had to go to the toilet, then I noticed that the bathroom needed to be cleaned (at least a little bit) so I started that, half way through I remembered the dough and thought I'd quickly finish the dough so that it can rise, but Cedric started to cry, so I went in our bedroom and plugged the dummy. Baby continued sleeping and I noticed that I was still wearing parts of my pyjamas, so I finished dressing, then I saw the vacuum cleaner next to my cloths and remembered that I wanted to use the time while Ned wasn't around to vacuum clean (or 'hoover' as my English friend would say) so I got the "hoover" out in the corridor and was about to start when my eyes fell on the bowl in the kitchen with the unfinished dough so I quickly wanted to do that. After finishing the dough I noticed the dishes again, which still sat patiently in the sink and I started on them again but my brain started beeping and rattling and I realised what a scatterbrained scatter brain I am so I decided to write this blog before I forget. While busy writing the phone rang and I had a chat with a friend for a while... and now?? Now I'm half way through the time of Ned being gone, and the dishes are still sitting in the sink, the bread dough is still peacefully rising, the bathroom still halfway being cleaned, the vacuum cleaner still patiently waiting, my teeth still not being brushed (I just remembered) and the laundry also still longs to be washed... BUT I am dressed, the kids are dressed and fed and I'm in the middle of my multi tasking chaos..... so I shall go now and try to finish off at least some of the things I've started :o)))

I survived the first 1 1/2 weeks just fine!!

It is true, it worked out better then I hoped.

After the first day of madness, life got much more pleasant the rest of the week. Somehow Ned didn't have any REALLY big melt downs anymore and he shared "mum" willingly with Baby Cedric. And although living with a baby is still not as regular as the ticking of a clock, we have managed something similar to a "stretched out" routine, meaning that Ced has his milk approximately around the same time each day, which helps me to be a bit more structured and organized. Most days I actually managed to have both boys in bed sleeping/resting at the same time in the afternoon, which feels just great (supermum ambitions seem to surface again, haha) and I do have some "me"-time!! Honestly we seem to cope quite allright, not barely survive, thank you God. One big help is also that a friend of ours takes Ned for one morning a week, which is SUCH a blessing. This lady takes care of her aged mother with Alzheimers and apparently Ned had great fun pushing the buttons of "Oma's" hospital bed and move the bed aaaaaaaaaall the way up and then aaaaaall the way down and up and down and up and down.... not only Ned had fun but also Oma:o))))

But despitethe fact that we haven't had any major melt downs lately, I decided after the "black Monday melt down" of two hours length to get some helpful books on how to parent a strong willed child, and compared with some of the kids described in these books Ned is as gentle and mild as Mary's little lamb.

This week we have a visitor, a friend from our time on Doulos. She used to be Ned's fun deck teacher (and we still call her Miss Emily instead of just Emily). It is great having her around (not only because Ned loves her and she plays with him, hahaha). She said, that in the last 6months he really did mature quite a bit, which is rather relieving :o)))) Seeing him every day you don't notice changes so much. It was also interesting that he recognized her (I mean 6 months is quite a long time for a toddler). When she arrived he took her by the finger, pulled her into his "kingdom" and went straight to one particular toy box and got out "Mr. Potato Head" which was the toy he used to play with A LOT on fun deck (and which we were allowed to keep for him). It was just amazing to see the connection he made with (Miss) Emily and Mr. Potato Head :o)))

And by the way, don't underestimate the sucking-power of a new born (being 3 weeks is officially still considered new born). Babies tend to latch on whatever comes around their mouths and as it happened daddy Ben offered baby to suck on his nose, which baby happily did. Later that night daddy stood infront of the mirror and brushed his teeth when all of a sudden he saw this red spot on his nose. He came up to me and wondered aloud what it might be. I just gave him "THE" look and explained to him what happens if you let a baby latch onto your nose instead of a dummy. Slowly comprehension dawned on him: Baby gave him a hickey on his nose, hahaha!!!!

Second days are much nicer then first days

Well, seems like SUPERMUM is back on the job. Today was the TOTAL opposite, by 11 am I was back shopping, I mean I walked there with two kids and we survived!!!! Didn't even have an attempted melt down (thank you HARIBO for those little kid size packages which are perfect to bribe toddlers... not that I would EVER do that:o) ) Cedric behaves according to the book (do babies poo as much according to the book????) and Ned's a happy two year old "Dr. Jekyll" so far (okay, when Ben put him down for his afternoon nap/rest he did scream quite a bit... but that was Ben's problem, not mine, harrharrharr)

Sooo, and now both boys are sleeping/resting, I just had a well deserved diet coke and wonderful TimTam (which is my personal chocolate allowance for the day), the laundry is in the machine as we speak, the kitchen is as good as tidy (all my doing) and I'm down-loading some free audio books, yay!!!! Ta, ta, SUPERMUM!!!!

Well, even if I'm far from being (or even wanting to be) a SUPERMUM, I am definitely a much HAPPIER mum than yesterday, so maybe I should rather call myself: HAPPYMUM :o))))

P.S. I also found out WHY the first day was so horrible: GRANDMA forgot to pray for us!!! (Lorraine, I'm just kidding, hahaha)

"Dr. Jekyll" toddler playing with his boys toys :o)))

Sum up first day: normal madness of mother of two

• It is 10 pm and both kids are still awake, this time #1 is peacefully talking in his bed and #2 is complaining and bright awake instead of peacefully sleeping
• 3 major tantrums of #1: the morning madness lasted full 2 hours, then there was another 1/2h of screaming just before our evening tidy up and another 20 min more in the middle of tidying up
• mashed up and soggy raisins spread all over #1's bed due to the fact that he had "hamstered" them in his mouth just before the evening tantrum started, and screaming and hamstering just don't work together
• 2 major super-pooing-sessions of #2, thankfully in the nappies and not all over me or other things..... you really wonder where all that poo is stored in such a little guy
• mum also decided to throw a tantrum and lay on the ground kicking, head-banging and screaming, unfortunately it did not have the desired effect (meaning that #1 would be shocked and silenced by such a disgraceful display of his behaviour) and rather backfired (it made him scream even more), but I must say, it felt rather relieving to let it out, but after less then a minute it lost it's attraction
• several melt downs of mum due to the screaming kid in his room
• as a result of that I noticed that I should use water-proof make-up next time (black mascara running down my face makes kiddo scream even more, I discovered)
• bad timing of husbands: he was off playing football for a good cause, I wished I was off playing footy for a good cause myself (on the side, I am VERY tempted to go off tomorrow and let husband handle the go-to-bed-procedure of our two lovely boys all by himself)
• on the good side, I did manage to make bread
• I did take a shower today
• I did brush my teeth
• AND I did stay within my chocolate allowance for today, although it was VERY tempting to eliminate every single piece of chocolate I could find in the flat... in fact every single piece of sweets in general, BUT I DID NOT (good girl!!!)

It's not even 11 am and I'm dissolved in a puddle of tears

Well, maybe I started off being a bit too ambitious, set the goals for the first morning without Ben being around just a bit too high. My goals were:

1. no chocolate for today
2. get dressed, teeth brushed and looking half way decent by 10am
3. make bread
4. run to the nearby shops and get some veggies and fruits

The day didn't start off too good. Baby decided last night to be a little bit more awake, so that meant I was also a little bit more awake, BUT I managed to be up and about for breakfast at 8am, Ben left for work at 8:40 and things still looked quite positive and bright, all the family, inclusive baby, was fed and happy. By 8:50am Ned had his teeth brushed and throned on his potty, while baby lay happily on the floor making cute baby noises. By 9am I started making the bread dough, had my teeth brushed and both kids were dressed. Then the day went wrong. I told Ned we'd go outside and that little comment must have triggered "Mr. Hyde". He wanted to go in the car right away and the melt down started. He spend some time in his room, and I tried to appease him a couple times without obstructing my principles , no success, so, more room time where he almost demolished his door. This melt down does not have any justification. It started of with the car, the first reconciliation attempt back fired and instead he wanted something to drink, but refused to say "please" for a while, when he finally said "please" he didn't really want to drink, but wanted his beloved Hermie, how was parked right next to his feet, and so on, la la ta ta. By 9:50am I actually was dressed and looking half way decent myself, baby was a little darling though the whole scene so far, when he decided to start one of his super-pooing-sessions and when I just had him clean and dressed again he had another one. But by 10am I was ready to start another attempt to walk to the shops. Ced was in the sling, Ned calmed down a bit and we got as far as out of the door of out flat when he started again, well, I capitulated, recognizing I was fighting a lost fight, stuck Ned in bed and by 10:10am I was laying in my own bed and dissolving in tears while Ned howled way in his bed, which he is still doing as I write. It breaks my heart to hear him but I can be stubborn too. I refuse to let a two year old rule me and as hard as it is he HAS to learn. I can forget about the shops now, we'll have to survive without fruits, I might be able to finish the bread before Ced wakes up and wants his milk, so in the end I did accomplish some of my goals but I am definitely not as content and happy and balanced as I hoped before. Gone are the thoughts: "I can do it" and hello to: "What did I/we do wrong?????" Ou well, I'm off to make bread to keep me busy, or else I'll cry until my eyes pop out.

P.S. so far I resisted to let chocolate comfort me, but it sounds tempting