Confessions

I have to confess, that there are day when I am tempted VERY much to just walk away from my kids and don't FEEL like loving them at all. Yesterday was one of those days. It started all wrong. I hardly slept during the night. Ned woke up screaming around 2am and so woke me up... well, he fell asleep pretty quickly again... I didn't... Cedric decided to give a solo squeaking and screaming performance around 3:30am and only a bottle of milk stopped it. He went back to sleep, I suppose eventually I did as well, as I remember waking up in the morning... or better being woken up by the same two innocent looking boys and feeling like a piece of gum stuck to a car tire. Not a good start... additionally I still struggled with a cold and that didn't improve my mood either.

I wished one of my character traits was loving patience, but unfortunately it isn't and among all my other shortcomings they rank pretty high up. Neither love nor patience were things I felt towards both my offspring that morning.

I also wished I could say that I fell on my knees and prayed that God would change my attitude towards my boys, but unfortunately I didn't do that either... I guess what changed the tide was me having an afternoon nap myself while Ben and Ned went off to give a talk at the Ladies Fellowship at church (bless them). I felt a changed person afterwards and love and patience for offspring increased miraculously... I guess it also helped that they decided to be incredibly cute. Ned playing by himself for a while and for a while with his Aunty Jilly and his bobby car. He'd drive it up to the front gate which is slightly on an slope. Then he'd get off the the bobby car and pretend to talk to the gate while the bobby car would slowly roll down the slop (if it didn't he'd give it a gentle nudge) then he'd turn around and be totally astonished that the bobby car was gone.... sigh, I love watching him playing and doing funny things... talking about funny things, I suppose it's hardly EVER a good sign if offspring is TOO quiet while playing... well, it was very quiet for a while... until we discovered Ned in Aunty Jill's room generously applying her roll-on deodorant to his face, tongue and other body parts... hmmmmm...

And Cedric.. well... he's a little cheeky one and I wonder how in the world will I ever get him to be an obedient child... whenever you give him a strong and confident "NO" he gives you this incredibly cheeky grin:

Seee???? That's the one...!!!! And my little cheeky, grinning monkey started to do his first steps yesterday.... not alone, bless me, but holding on to my hands... you could see his little brain gearing up and all of a sudden the legs moved, whereas before he'd never get the "moving-the-legs-in-walking-fashion"-thing quite worked out... but all of a sudden he did.

I am just so glad, that however sinful I act throughout the day that there is forgiveness at the foot of the cross. That's what Easter is all about, right?? (although we did have a little Easter egg hunt and even bought an Easter bunny, which was killed by Ned in no time).

One song sung in church caught me and I could vividly see in my minds eyes what Jesus did for us on the cross. Most properly it's an "old" song for you, but for me it was new and my mascara was a bit messed up afterwards due to the tears which came streaming out of my eyes without me wanting them to actually stream out at all but tears seem to come if you want them or not, at least with me they do.

Blessed Redeemer

"Up Calvary’s mountain one dreadful morn
Walked Christ my Savior, weary and worn
Facing for sinners death on the cross
That He might save them from endless loss

Blessed Redeemer, precious Redeemer
Seems now I see Him on Calvary’s tree
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading
Blind and unheeding, dying for me

“Father, forgive them,” my Savior prayed
Even while His lifeblood flowed fast away
Praying for sinners while in such woe
No one but Jesus ever loved so

Blessed Redeemer, precious Redeemer
Seems now I see Him on Calvary’s tree
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading
Blind and unheeding, dying for me
Dying for me

Oh how I love Him, Savior and friend
How can my praises ever find end
Through years unnumbered on Heaven’s shore
My songs shall praise Him forevermore

Blessed Redeemer, precious Redeemer
Seems now I see Him on Calvary’s tree
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading
Blind and unheeding, dying for me

Dying for me"

Casting Crowns

That's what Easter IS all about... but talking about chocolate eggs before I have to finish off with telling you one more story... about something brown... which wasn't an Easter egg.. or maybe I'll better show you a picture:

And if you were wondering what a naked baby is doing in the kitchen in the first place, wellllll, he was having his bath, as we presently do not live close to a bath tub :o)))