Aaaaaaand still pregnant.....

.... and although it's only 3 days over due so far, I feel like getting desperate.... Isn't it totally weird and almost wacky that one LONGS for that pain to start? I just want to be over and done with it and have a cute little reward on my arm instead of in my belly, which I can pass on to others as well and don't have to carry around the entire time myself!!! :o))))
Well, I've tried quite a few things already to speed things up:

1. prayer - but I guess God's timing isn't always our timing, and he knows when the perfect time will be, even if I might not agree with him right now :o))))
2. Pineapple - it de-waters, which is really great (now my ankles are not all blown up anymore, yay!!)
3. Ginger - we just made a yummy new patch of ginger beer
4. cinnamon - apple sauce is DROWNED with it
5. walking stairs and up hills - it rather kills and exhausts me
6. biking - it really must look funny :o)
7. resting - nowadays thay say it is much better to rest then to wear yourself out

Well, I won't try grapefruit, as I really don't like it, and I am not desperate enough to go for castor oil, which is purely disgusting.... maybe some herbal tea.. but I don't like tea.... maybe some Chinese stretching exercise which will almost kill me by only trying it.... or maybe that baby will just come when it decides to come and I just have to wait until then (ou how I LOVE waiting!!!)

I guess my main concern is, that I get worried what to do with Ned tomorrow and the following days. It is really hot and humid here (for Germany), somewhere in the mid thirties, and I'm not very good with coping with heat... it zaps me out of energy and I just want to lay down and rest, but instead I have a toddler around who is pumped full with energy and hates me seeing resting. Plus if I don't go out with him, he goes gaga inside and we both get VERY irritated with each other. So my wishful thinking is that this baby comes TODAY!!!! unfortunately one cannot WILL a baby out..... very unfortunate!!! Or I would have WILLED that baby out already 3 weeks ago, hahaha!!!

Well, I sent off my boys to go to the park and cool down in the water play area there and will lay down myself and rest.... admiring my beautifully de-watered feet and wishing for this baby to come..... seeya later!!

Still pregnant...

... although it was due yesterday, Wyatt #4 seems to want to teach me patience. Well, to be honest, I didn't expect differently. I tell myself it can still take almost up to two weeks (although that thought almost makes me cry. I HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!). Temperatures are in their mid thirties and Germany isn't designed for these kind of temperatures, and neither am I. My feet started to take on elephantine proportions, BUT I found a cure for that: PINEAPPLE!!!! Man that stuff works and de-waters you like crazy.... which means you spend more time on the toilet, but at least the legs look in better shape (even if everything else is only in one shape describable: ROUND).

For my due day I planned NOT to sit at home and mope, but rather have nice plans, so I strapped Ned in his beloved bike seat and met my friend Karla and her kids in the swimming pool. Actually that was the first time ever for me to go swimming super-pregnant. :o)))

As it also happened, the 8th of July is also our "official" wedding anniversary, as you have two weddings in Germany, a civil and a church wedding, and the civil wedding was on the 8th, but the real one in our eyes was on the 10th of July. And of course we both forgot until the evening, then Ben brought back some flowers when I send him shopping with Ned:o)))

Now, that I am "over due" it is very annoying that I have to go and see the doctor every second day (ou what a joy, I love seeing doctors and I LOVE waiting up to 3 hours in the waiting room). So like a good girl I went and saw her today and she told me, that then in 2 days, on Sunday, I need to go to the hospital for the 2 days check up. I almost burst out in tears. I don't wanna go to the hospital for stupid CTs without having a reason, like baby is coming. On the other hand, if baby decided to come on Sunday I'll be more then happy to go to hospital and get over and done with it. I pleaded with my doc and she had mercy on me and I was allowed to have a 3 days check up instead of a 2 days check up and see her on Monday instead. I much rather would not have to see her (although I do like her very much), but I much rather would like to have a baby in between, but God alone knows when this will happen (I HATE waiting, did I mention that before???) I am also very grateful I am not on the ship at the moment, because the constant comment a hundred times a day: "WHAT??? You're still pregnant?????" ("Really?? I hadn't noticed!!") would have (eventually) made me a murderess. But living here in peaceful Mosbach I am only occasionally confronted with those remarks and in less quantity I can handle them without going psycho:o)))) I think what I struggle with the most is expectations. I expect it to be similar to the first birth: it was "only" 3 days late, it was quick and it wasn't as bad as I imagined. So now I start panicking myself with thoughts like "Gosh, what if they have to induce, like 2 weeks later??", "What if it is so much longer then the first time???", "what if it is a really bad birth, because I expected it to be 'easy'????", "What if...??", "What IF...?" and "WHAT IF....??????". They don't help at all, what ifs. They just drive you gaga. But sometimes I just can't help myself.

So, enough panic-thoughts.... a little funny story about offspring. Well, Ned's still a two year old and we still have tantrums and melt downs. Well, we had one in his room today where he just was NOT happy with mum. So mum decided to leave the room. And so that he couldn't throw it, she also took his juice bottle with her, which off course, he wanted to have back straight away. So I was sitting in our little corridor (in a comfy chair) outside his room and he was howling inside "drink, drink, drink", when all of a sudden, he opened up the door, threw out his beloved Hermie bear, closed the door again and then started howling "Hermie, Hermie, Hermie!!!". It just cracked me!!!

Well, I wished the next time I write something on here, it could be that baby has decided to come and that it wasn't bad and that I'm doing alright and that baby is healthy and a boy or a girl, but I shall be patient and use the time until that event and rest as much as possible, because who knows how much sleep and rest I will get afterwards

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Not that I have ever read "The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde" by Robert Louis Stevenson -it is so NOT my kind of book-, but growing up one still "knew" about this book or the different movie adaptations. And lately I've come to the conclusion that Mr. Stevenson must have gotten his inspiration of Dr. Jenkyll and Mr. Hyde by observing two year olds.

I tell you, they CAN be the cutest things in the world, packed full with charm and smiles and cuteness that it almost overflows out of the ears. I mean, how adorable is it, if your little boy comes in with a bunch of "flowers" (other people might call them weeds, but they don't know what they are talking about) he and his daddy just picked outside.... or if he kisses you again and again and again and again (and again...) and then cracks laughing, just to make fun of daddy, who would like to have a kiss himself.... or to be TOTALLY excited about daddy coming home soon and then not letting daddy in but looking through the glass part of the door with a adorable but very cheeky grin :o))))

He can play very nicely all by himself in his room with his cars, his baggers, his trains, his books or his DUPLOs. He can play very nicely with other kids or with us. He can eat like a big boy without making a mess and eat like a horse. He can tell you LOOOOOOOOONG stories about who knows what (I don't get a word he says, maybe an occasional "Bagger", "Zug", "Car", etc., but it is still highly entertaining). He can sit peacefully in his bike seat and enjoy the breeze (while mum or dad get their exercise and sweat their butts off). He can play nicely in his blow up pool on the balcony. He can sit on his potty for 1/2h and read his books (without WANTING to get up). He can be cooperative and opens his mouth and doesn't make a fuss whatsoever when it is teeth brushing time. He can jump and bounce through the entire flat and dance his "Bagger, Bagger"-war dance before bed time and then clean up his toys without any complaint, but with much joy and excitement.

Wouldn't it be soooo much lovelier, if there was only "Dr. Jenkyll" in your two year old????

But unfortunately "Mr. Hyde" is always closer then you think. And I've got absolutely no idea whatsoever what triggers the transformation from Dr. Jenkyll to Mr. Hyde. Circumstances, moods, situations, food or whatever might be EXACTLY the same, but somehow the adorable little two year old is NOT, instead there is this highly irritating, immensely frustrating, extremely nerve-wrecking two year old little "monster". And these rather not so attractive displays of the "Mr. Hyde"-side of offspring are sometimes rather embarrassing in public (yes, I have been tempted to walk away and say aloud "Man, to whom does this naughty brat belong??? That mother did something seriously wrong in the raising of this kid".... alas, so far I have resisted temptation!!).

Well, one indication that Mr. Hyde took the lead is the reaction to the simple word: "No". I try NOT to over-use it, but there are certain things he has to learn, and a "No" is a "No" and it stays a "No". If Mr. Hyde is in the lead, the immediate reaction is "throw yourself on the ground and scream your head off", no matter where or if the ground is wet or dirty or whatever. And there he stays. If you try to pick him up, he just "melts down" to the ground again. Well, highly enjoyable, especially if you're out and can't just leave him there. It happened in the water play area in the park the other day. He was all Dr. Jenkyll when all of a sudden he ran away, and Mr. Hyde kicked in. In the end I had to pack "away" the screaming and kicking kid in the bike seat and ride my bike home with this "adorable" soundtrack on the back. It must have looked rather comical, to be honest. I mean, this really pregnant woman puffing away on her bike with a howling kid on the back who was also using his fists on her back. Well, Dr. Jenkyll DID take over again before I reached home, which was good, because I was on the point of boiling over myself (and not only because of the Mosbach June heat), but I kept my own Mr. Hyde under control, thank you Jesus.

Summer has arrived...

... finally even here in Mosbach!!! And it is GREAT to be able to go outside soooo much. Unfortunately it ain't no fun being 9 months pregnant AND it being hot!!!! But I am coping. Ned enjoys water a LOT as well. We went to the public pool the other day, which has a really nice kid's play area (and of course his own toys were of NO interest, but other kids toys highly desired, why is that ALWAYS the case???) and last weekend we used maybe our last chance of having a kid-less weekend. I dropped off offspring at my parents on Friday afternoon. He almost could NOT wait to finally be at Oma and Opa's. All morning Oma, Opa and car where the most heard words. While Ned enjoyed his time with them Ben and I went to Mannheim (about 1h drive away) and stayed at some friends for the weekend. Travelling without kid is SOOOO INCREDIBLY MUCH EASIER, unbelievable. I looked at the little bit of stuff in our car and could not believe that this is all. We had a blast of a good time, the girls going shopping (while Ben took a motorbike for a ride, which lasted only 20 min because the bike started leaking fuel), eating yummy burgers, having many good chats, having a BBQ at the river, watching two world cup games (wasn't that just BEAUTIFUL football??? sorry my English friends) AND going to the movies (Robin Hood, which they showed in ENGLISH, YAY!!!!).

I picked up Ned again only on Monday morning, and it was good for the heart to see, that he missed us a lot. He was very anxious to go and gave me such a looooong cuddle. It is good to know that he enjoys going to his grandparents, but it is even better to know that he REALLY enjoys coming back home:o))))

What to say, lah!!!

Well, time flies, but I'm still pregnant, and rightly so, baby isn't due until the 8th of July, but my patience is wearing thin. I don't want anymore, but no one asks me!!! Ou well, I guess I should just enjoy the time I have and take as much time for resting and sleeping because that will be limited and challenging after offspring#2 arrives. But to be honest, Ned wasn't very bad (he was such an easy going baby... what did happen then??) so I'm quite hopeful that #2 will follow his/her big brothers example (at least in this area) and sleep/eat/poop like a little champion.

Sometimes it almost freaks me out as well... I mean the thought that I'll be the mother of two soon. Being the mother of two always meant for me, that the mother should be a grown up and sensible and responsible woman herself, but, hmm, well... sometimes I feel such a kid still myself that I don't really feel up for the job of raising kids.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Ou well, millions did it before me, so I will handle it too!!!!

I am SOOO much looking forward being able to lay on my back and/or my belly again, it is something I can't imagine anymore... or bending down without almost dying of lack of oxygen, man, fancy that... or paint my toe nails (if there happens to be time, hahaha) without almost dying with the effort.... or reversing the car and being able to properly turn around and see what's going on behind the car instead of just kinda guessing (so far I haven't killed anyone, yet)..... OR going roller blading again, I am SOOOO much looking forward to that, honestly. I don't know how fit I'll be after #2 arrives but I'm longing to be on my blades again (and after the first time I will be dissolved in tears because I really realize how very unfit and fat I'd become). You might have figured that I am one of those women who does NOT like being pregnant very much, and YES you ARE right!!!!! Just the other day Ben told me, that he had two different conversations with two different women and they both said how much they loved being pregnant!!!!!! Man, I AM happy I wasn't there, because they would have just earned a unbelieving stare from my side.... how can you LOVE being pregnant??? Maybe I'm just a very selfish person, but I think I want my body back and I much rather have a cute little poop-machine on my arm then inside me (although they don't poop inside).

What else happens on the Wyatt horizon???? Ned's vocabulary really improves. Many things he knows now in English and German, and the other day I even heard him translate something for Ben, hahaha!!!! Okay, it was only one word, but it was still very cute. We also had the great joy to go to a routinely check up to the paediatrician. Ned really loved the waiting room, but I really can't say that he loved seeing the doctor. He did NOT!!!! And he let us know that he did NOT approve of anything the lady did, be it looking in his ears or taking his hight or sticking a nasty needle in his arm. He was NOT impressed and very happy to escape afterwards. Well, no more routinely doctors visit for the next year or so, happy chap!! I can't say the same about me, because I'm seeing my doctor on a weekly base by now and if baby decides to be over due I'll have to see her every second day, yay (I just LOVE going to the doctor).

Ned still LOOOOVES everything on wheels. Of course Baggers are still his favourites, but tractors are also pretty high in the charts or buses or bikes or motor bikes or trucks or cars... Does it have wheels?? Then Ned LOVES it. We should actually write a letter of thanks to the Mosbach city bus company that they send a bus past our house twice an hour, because more often then not Ned hears the bus from far away, informs us that the bus is coming and ruuuuns to the window, climbs up on a box and watches the bus go by :o)))).He wasn't soooo excited about buses when we lived in Singapore and were even riding on buses, but I guess one is allowed to change, isn't it?? :o))))

murderous thoughts!

I felt like murdering a neighbour today.

The first time ever, that I felt that way, because God has always blessed me/us with excellent neighbours on land or on ship. Just the other day, we were given a tricycle for Ned, just like that, by one of our neighbours and I felt so blessed, and then today, hmpf... grrrrr......

Well, the day today was nice and warm and looked promising ( almost too hot and humid for my liking), but unfortunately offspring was NOT in a particularly good mood. The smallest incident would bring a major meltdown (which involves throwing himself on the ground, lots of banging different body part on the floor and of course lot of screaming), so I was yelled at quite a lot today, which didn't really help MY moods, being a bit impatient and aggressive lately anyway, BUT I was coping rather well with it ( I did NOT hit, kill, torture or inflict any pain in any possible way on the kid) but rather let him cool off calmly and reconcile with a kiss later on. We also went for a bike ride, which he always enjoys a lot and in the afternoon/evening we set up our little blow up pool on the balcony, filled it with lots of toys and with water, of course. The funny thing with Ned is, that he HATES "NO" but still obeys it... and protests LOUDLY and persistently. Well, he purposefully stepped on the side of the pool and let the water flow out it onto the balcony and consequently down the street and mama said "NO!! Don't!!!". He DID stop, but in consequence the entire street could hear that he was NOT happy with his mama.

And that's when it happened. A youngish neighbour 50m up the hill opened his window and yelled over asking what were we doing with the poor child that he had to yell his head off. I was FURIOUS!!!!!! In my mind I dragged that obnoxious fellow out of his third story window and make him stop that brawling toddler or watch him die trying to do so.... poor CHILD, yeah.... how about poor MOTHER who has to handle brawling toddler in full blast all day long (not ALL day, but you get the picture)???? I'm still rather angry with this guy... oh where are my Christian values like "love your neighbours", "do not kill" and "love your enemies"....????? but I guess I just lost it and yelled back very viciously "we're torturing him" (and wanting to call that guy many names, which isn't the Christian thing to do either). Luckily by that time Ned had stopped behaving like a brat and played like a little angel in his pool.

My reaction made me ashamed of myself, because there wasn't much Jesus in any of my words, actions or thinking and it makes me feel like a bad mother... and it makes me sad that our neighbours must think, that this gorgeous little fun guy is screaming and yelling and brawling like a brat all day long, because that isn't the case... hang on, they actually think we're doing something bad with the poor kid and that's why he's so upset.... either way, it makes me feel bad....

To be honest, I think I need a little break and a little distance, so for the weekend we ship him off to Oma and Opa. They are happy, Ned is happy and we are happy too :o)))). I am sooooOOOO grateful that we are blessed in having one set of grandparents close by at the moment AND that they are eager to have him around AND that kiddo LOVES Oma and Opa AND that it is possible for them to have him for a weekend (I hope it'll work out as good as last time!!)

Second Birthday!!!!!

Well, Ned is now officially a two year old (not only in behaviour anymore!!)

It is weird for me, because I think back to the time when he finally decided to enter this world: a helpless, squashed up, lovable little something with really big hands and feet..... and now he is this active, energetic, charming, cheeky, adorable, strong-willed little person. It's crazy, how everything changes with such a little someone around. And although Ned didn't really understand yet what "birthday" actually means, we had a great day.

Yesterday, the last day of his first year though was NOT a very nice one, as if he wanted to rebel against turning two. We had 4 major tantrums and a couple more minor ones and a VERY exhausted, highly irritable, extremely frustrated, immensely impatient, unbelievably aggressive, telephone-waking-kid-out-of-sleep-hating mum. I really wondered what his birthday would be like... somehow having a tantrum-throwing kid on a birthday doesn't appeal very birthday-ish.

BUT we had a REALLY great day!!!! It started off with piglets (that's what I called pikelets accidentally once and that's what I will call them till the end of my days.... if you don't know what pikelets are check out: http://www.nzwomansweekly.co.nz/food/recipes/pikelets/story/3741301/ ) and that kid of mine can eat piglets like a horse (do horses eat piglets??)... I think he ate more than me.

After brekkie it was unwrapping time, and it was a joy to watch him get some new books (thanks Oma and Opa) a new sit-on "bagger" (thanks Grandma and Grandad for the money) and a sit-on bouncy horse (our small contribution).

My parents popped-in unexpectedly just before lunch (and we ended up having them around until after dinner, which was nice, yummy steak, thanks to them :o) ). We thought them far off in the Alps and not in the neighbourhood, but the weather was so bad on their holiday, plus my mum had quite a bike accident (inclusive a broken pinky), so they decided to come home early and be with their precious grand-kid on his birthday. After lunch they went off with him for a walk and later on to visit my grandparents and I had some nice time to relax and read my bible. I love our kid, but sometimes I also love him to be away, supervised, of course :o))).

When we were still on the ship I was almost a bit "jealous" of our neighbour kids, with whom it was always great fun reading books, because they were interested in you reading to them or finding things and animals on the pages, but Ned would not do that. Well, he has changed and is a big boy now and he LOVES books and it's SOOOO much fun going through them with him. He tells you the different things he knows and if you ask him to show you something he points it out, and if there happens to be a "bagger", well, you should see the joy on that little boys face. He also loves pointing out babies, and he got a new book about babies. His favourite page is the one, where you can lift a flap and look inside the mum's belly and there is this little baby. He loves bellies in general, but he just looks at me funny, when I try to tell him, that there is a tiny baby in mine. Maybe the book helps him to understand.

Now that he is two, I also thought it's time to get rid of his nappies (I honestly think, that two kids with nappies will exceed our bin capacity, and it WOULD be nice to only have one kid with stinky nappies). Unfortunately he is one of those kids, who doesn't mind having a squashed-up, yucky poo sticking to his bum. But well, I thought I'd just give it a try to regularly put him on his potty while there is only one kid to take care of, and maybe we are lucky and by the time number two decides to come he'll get the hang of it. His love and patience with books actually helps a lot with the "potty training" as he can sit on his throne and "read" for a long time. In fact, this evening he sat for 1/2h and didn't really wanna get off it, hahaha.

It's funny how happy some little pee in a potty can make parents, you REALLY DO CHANGE once you have offspring (I could have NEVER EVER imagined myself being so happy, pleased and proud of someone peeing in a pot... ah, good old single or being none-parents days, sometimes, I do miss them). Now listen to me, I really do think that I do have the "MAMA"-sickness. I hated visiting people with the "mama"-sickness (statements like: "Little Sarah is having REALLY a hard time getting her poo out today" are a indicator of the "mama"-sickness), and here I am, infected myself, writing about it on my blog..... sorry people :o)))).

Ned on his new bagger and Hemie on the little one