Ned seems to have a little relapse into his "really-aweful-two-year-old-tantrum-throwing-about nothing-really"-phase. I mean if someone could or would explain it to me, I'd be grateful. For example, we sit at the table and have a meal. Lately he often seems to think he needs to be on a diet or something. He sits in front of his food and doesn't eat it. Well, I don't mind so much, if he chooses to not eat, FINE, he won't starve!!!! (Little after-thought, okay, sometimes I DO mind, because I put time and effort in preparing his meal.) The thing which really gets my temper going is taking the food away. It goes something like this:
Becca: "Are you finished Ned??"
Ned [ignoring his mother and mumbling something inapprehensible, e.g.]: "Bagger?? Bike??? Bus???"
Becca: "Ned! Are you finished eating?? Ja??"
Ned: "Ja?"
Becca: "Ned??? Finished?? Eating?? Ja?? Nein?"
Ned: "Nein??"
[As two year old doesn't show any apparent interest in food, mother decides to take food away, although she couldn't get a clear answer out of 2 year old, but rather a repetition of the last words she says]
Ned: "eat!! EAT!!!EEEEEAAAAAAATTTTT!!!! ESSSSSSEN!!!! WAEEEE!!"
Becca: "okay, Ned, last chance, but you have to eat or I'll take it away"
[Mother puts food infront of two year old again, two year old ignores re-appeared food completely, mother, slightly irritated and temper rising, true to her word, takes food away again]
Ned: "EAAATTTT!!!ESSSSSEN!!!AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WAAAAA!!!&%#@^$@#$*$@#@"
[mother, patience snapped completely, drags screaming and kicking two year old out of his chair into his room, on his bed for his afternoon sleep, force-changes stinking nappy when suddenly two year old calms down]
Ned: "Mama, sing??? Mama kiss??? Mama book??? Night night"
[mother's temper cools down suddenly and completely, heart melts away like wax and mind (almost) forgets the neither logical nor understandable tantrum... until next time of course]
Is there any hidden logic and I'm just too blind to see it?? I mean, I don't deny him the food, he had plenty of time eating it (at least 45min)... I just don't get it, and honestly, it FRUSTRATES me just a tiny little bit (meaning: A LOT!!!) But I guess we will grow out this quirk as well as the last one(s).
To be honest, I am NOT a very good person if I get woke up in the mornings... but maybe I should just leave the sentence like this: "To be honest, I am NOT a very good person if I get woken up [FULL STOP] (unfortunately that happens to me daily nowadays and the fact that the alarm clock is a cute chubby baby makes it only slightly more bearable). Unfortunately I must have passed down this, this... what should I call it, this habit (??) down to off spring as well. Yesterday we woke up Ned from his afternoon nap to go out to a playground and to collect chestnuts. Bad idea. Really BAD idea!! EXTREMELY BAD idea!!!!! (mental note to self: do not make this error again if avoidable). He was screaming and howling and behaving none-logical for over an hour. Not even the magical HARIBO packages helped (but we don't believe in bribing anyway). When he finally calmed down and behaved like an awake and normal two year old again, he was as sweet and cute as sugar, but it was way to late to head to the playground. Maybe some brain cells get stuck and only excessive screaming and crying can loosen them again, hmm, who knows. This time my temper stayed down, because I kinda caused the fit in waking him up, knowing that I'm not very good when woken up myself.
We ended up going to the playground and picking chestnuts today though:
I don't want you to think, that this kid of mine is this awful scream-bag (okay, obviously at times he is, but it isn't the norm), I'm sharing this because it puzzles me a bit, this being none-logical. He wants something, you give it to him and he ignores it just to want it desperately again ones you take it away.
Despise the aweful scream attack in the afternoon, the day ended really good. The weekly bible study was at my parents house, and not having a guitar player usually I had to render my services, which of course prompted my mum to choose many songs!!! So it was at least 1/2h singing, and the entire time my little boy sat between two adults, at times clapping his hands, at times shaking one or two "shiggy shakes" (no idea what they are called) and during my dad's prayer he folded his little hands and bowed his head (heart melting moment again).
I guess there are many frustrations in every parents life (I hope I'm not the only parent struggling with unreasonable and tantrum throwing children), but reading the papers makes me realized that I'm so extremely grateful for every single minute of every single day that I have them, to be able to cuddle them, to hold them, to train them and teach them God's way, because being followers of Jesus doesn't automatically mean that no harm will come to us or our children. There has been an incident reported in the papers that 2 weeks ago a 10-year old went missing. It seems to happen so often, and so often one forgets things like that again, because it is "far" away. But this particular incident hit closer to home because the missing boy grew up in a Christian home and the church organized a 24h prayer chain, in fact the entire village is praying for him. And I started to pray for him and his parents as well. I hurt with them, and just thinking of them makes me want to go over into Ned's room and cuddle up next to him, forgotten are all the frustrations and irritations and only love for my little guy fills my heart... and fear. Fear of loosing him in such an aweful way, or sickness, or an accident... my imagination runs wild. But dwelling on such thoughts is neither good nor right. We have to trust our Lord and God that He does take care of him and no matter what happens in the future, we have to trust and believe the fact that GOD loves us, that Jesus died for us and our sins and that He IS in charge, no matter what befalls us.
I don't wanna end here just after writing down some of my fears. Much better finishing off with another little Ned story:
This evening we had visitors over and Ned showed himself from his chocolate side off course (which is very cute), and off course bed time was a bit later then usual (off course), and despite the visitors, he went to bed like a little angel (I was VERY proud of him), and I thought, it being so late already and our visitors being here, I would skip our now established daily bible reading for once. Well, he made me sing a couple of good night songs out of his book and then I started praying, but he was like: "Mama, book.... bible???" I almost cried, and off course I did read him and snuggled up a bit longer and treasured the moment in my heart.
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